Archive for the ‘Interviews’ Category

DepressionA condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life.

Abnormal Behavior-behavioral, emotional, or cognitive dysfunctions that are unexpected in their cultural context and associated with personal distress or substantial impairment in functioning.

“Scars only remind us where we have been, they do not have to dictate where we go”-unknown

It is sad that we live in a world where other people judge and define us by our behavior that they deem “abnormal”; social norms tell us how we are supposed to behave and create guidelines as to how we are supposed to act and react in certain situations. People find it is easy to define “abnormal”, but can anyone really define “normal”? Again, it all comes back to how our friends, family, coworkers, and everyone we socialize with views us. Mental illnesses/personality disorders/mood disorders do not define who we are, they simply push us to the point where we either breakdown or overcome all the obstacles set in front of us.

“Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”- Unknown

Happiness state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

I suffer from severe depression and know what it is like to feel down and hopeless; when you are in this state of mind, you become antisocial and people think you are just looking for attention. To be honest, the last thing I want is attention; don’t get me wrong, I want to be recognized for my achievements, but I do not want anyone feeling sorry for me. I have never thought about suicide; I have never crossed the line where I find myself frantically searching for a reason to live. It is a constant struggle though; I like to believe that someday I could be consistently happy, but right now I live off of temporary highs. These temporary highs include watching the Packers play, going to a movie, or even having one night where I can hang with a friend and pretend to that I am normal. I have experienced darkness, but I have not been to hell and back like the people who were kind enough to participate in this article. I go to school, I have a fulltime job, and I am actually in a good place right now; how long will it last? Unfortunately that is something I cannot predict; I could be depressed by the end of this article, but I understand how lucky I am and do not take anything for granted. While looking back at my accomplishments, I also look at all the obstacles I have overcome; and for that, I am stronger.-Joseph Forsberg

THE CUTS CREATED AN ESCAPE FROM THE “REALITY”I CONSIDERED HELL (anonymous participant)

possibly suffers from Depression, anxiety, possible PTSD, Survivors guilt.(NOT a diagnosis)

 Why did you start doing it? Were you looking for attention or escape?

Escape. It was a replacement for emotional pain with physical pain because that was easier to handle and took my mind off of all the things I couldn’t stop thinking about
Did you ever see yourself having a future?

Yes, I always did. I am honestly frightened of death and would have never actually wanted to end my life.
When did you first decide that cutting yourself/attempting suicide was the right answer?

I’m not sure when I first decided that it would help but I do remember sitting in my room, listening to music and just randomly deciding that I needed to do something to try and face the emotional pain and then there was a pair of scissors. Still to this day when I hear certain songs I think of those days and what I had to do to try and prove to myself that I could move forward no matter what I put myself through.
How were you able to force your body to withstand the physical pain of cutting yourself?

It was easier to handle than the emotional pain.
How many times did you do it before it started feeling good/ sense of relief?

Once! If it would have never been a sense of relief then I would never have done it more than once.
Do you suffer from chronic or situational depression? What factors in your life contributed to this?

I do suffer from depression and anxiety due to losing two sisters, one when I was 13 and one when I was 19, almost 20. Also since then I’ve had to be the rock of my family because I have dealt with it better than my mom and I put a lot of focus into making sure she is okay and trying to help her move forward with life. It has kind of put my own issues on a back burner which makes the anxiety attacks and things I get worse when they do happen.
Do you feel different than everyone else? Do you feel like you stand out?

I feel like I have something more to live for because of what I’ve been through. I feel like I’m a stronger person now and I don’t feel like anyone really understands the way my mind works when it comes to certain situations like relationships and everyday life. Because It is something I will never be able to explain and actually have someone truly understand, I have to depend on myself for a lot which is hard to do sometimes.
Because of my depression, I always feel self-conscious about myself and feel as though I am on display; do you feel like people are always staring and judging?

I don’t, but that’s only because I put on a good face and hide my real emotions. I have become very good at acting happy even if I am not. The people that really know me when I completely act like myself would never judge me and that is why they know me for me, not just my fake face I put on sometimes.

FACT: Psychoanalytical theory states that suppressed memories from childhood and other traumatic experience can emerge from our subconscious and cause a major crisis!

“With that said, I have had the pleasure of knowing this person for a while and know that she is stronger than what these theories suggest”-Joseph Forsberg

 
What has helped you through this and what prevented you from taking your own life?

I never wanted to actually take my own life, I just wanted something to let me know I was still here and I could make it through this and I would be okay and being able to deal with that physical pain on cutting myself gave me that hope as weird as that sounds.


I know I have never allowed my mind to go down the dark road, but what was able to pull you back…was it you finally seeing a future for yourself or maybe something like not wanting to abandon your family

I would never be able to abandon my family, my mom and dad mean the world to me and I know they wouldn’t be able to stand it if they lost me and my sisters were my best friends and they would be more than upset if I didn’t move forward and continue living my life exactly the way that I want to and chase all of my dreams.

 ESCAPE; A SENSE OF EUPHORIA– (anonymous Participant)

Because I do not personally know this participant, I did not feel comfortable listing possible diagnosis

 Why did you start doing it? Were you looking for attention or escape?

Mostly attention. You feel so awful, it’s like you want others to take you seriously, but it doesn’t seem like they do. So, if you do something so drastic, maybe they will listen or at least try to understand. On occasions, where I have been serious, I just want to be done. My heart has been broken. My despair so complete, that anything would be better than that pain.

 Did you ever see yourself having a future?

Yes.

When did you first decide that cutting yourself/attempting suicide was the right answer?

I have always engaged in “self-harm”, even as a child as a way to deal with problems.  But I did not attempt suicide seriously until a few years after my first daughter died. I got to a point where I had been fighting the grief so long that I did not have any hope left. I just wanted it to stop.

How were you able to force your body to stand the physical pain of cutting yourself?

It isn’t painful. It’s a relief. It’s weird.

How many times did you do it before it started feeling good/ sense of relief?

It’s always been that way.

Do you suffer from chronic or situational depression? What factors in your life contributed to this?

Yes. Chronic. I have always reacted to serious crisis by going through a “quick, serious depression- where everything was a major disaster for like 24 hours…” but then I would “buck-up” and fix the issue. But then I lost a child in 2005. Then another in 2011.. This is not something I can “fix”. It’s taken me until May of this year (2012) to finally seek professional help. I have been on medication since 2006, but now I am in therapy as well.

 FACT– Acute onset describes disorders that begin suddenly. Insidious onset describes disorders that develop gradually overtime

Do you feel different than everyone else? Do you feel like you stand out?

I’m more intelligent than the average person and I have done more and accomplished more than most people my age.  I think smart people get bored, look for more stimulation, question more, have more trouble with faith and religion, etc… think too much and get lost in your own head. Ignorance is bliss. lol

Because of my depression, I always feel self-conscious about myself and feel as though I am on display; do you feel like people are always staring and judging?

No.

What has helped you through this and what prevented you from taking your own life?

I’m still in it. I still have one daughter and I won’t leave her.

I know I have never allowed my mind to go down the dark road, but what was able to pull you back…was it you finally seeing a future for yourself or maybe something like not wanting to abandon your family

It’s all the stereotypes you hear. If it was me alone, I wouldn’t be here. It’s very difficult to be inside my head. My mother and I have serious issues, but I simply couldn’t make her feel how I feel by taking my own life. I don’t want to put my daughter through any more trauma, she’s been through more than most people go through in their entire lives. She’s stronger than me and I won’t let her down no matter how bad it gets for me.

Please feel free to add anything you might find important. I will not mention your names and I have not told anyone I will be interviewing you so please be as personal as you can. The point of this article is for suicide awareness.

Don’t tell a depressed person you know how they feel. Don’t feel you have to DO anything. Just BE there. The hardest thing is feeling alone and useless. IMO, the best way to help someone is to show them you care by being there, by listening. Some things are impossible to handle yourself. I know in my case, I really do need professional help, this is not something I can handle alone. I need medication, I need therapy. These things may be necessary for some people and should be encouraged if needed and there’s nothing wrong with getting the help you need.

 SPECIAL THANKS

Very special thanks to the people who chose to participate in this ‘Suicide Awareness’ segment. I feel because of all the violence and death going on, the least we can all do is be there for each other and learn to never judge a book by its cover. These two participants are great people and the one I know personally is fun, active, and has great work ethic; it has truly been a pleasure to know her and I am able to feed off her strength.

 

 

Written by Joseph Forsberg

EXCLUSIVE WITH MARCUS DUNSTAN

Posted: November 21, 2012 in Interviews

Marcus Dunstan Exclusive
God I wish I was at the premiere!! Watching the movie with Marcus would be a dream come true; he is just a class act and so incredibly talented! Dont forget November 30!!! Click on the link above to check out the Marcus Dunstan exclusive!!
“Mr. Blood”

THE BEAUTIFUL EMMA FITZPATRICK!!

Posted: November 20, 2012 in Interviews

Although we are excited to see her role in ‘The Collection’ i found it awesome to hear that she is also very much into music!

 

 

“Mr. Blood”

I came across this interview with the writers/director of ‘The Collector’ ‘Saw 4, 5, 6, 7 and the upcoming ‘THE COLLECTION. Very nice guys!

 

“Mr. Blood”